Leaving Blame, Shame and Guilt behind in your parenting

FB LIVE- Leaving Blame, Shame and Guilt behind in your parenting

Every mother we've spoken with (including ourselves) has done or said things- many things- to their children that they feel ashamed of, and that feel so far from how they want to show up with their children.

Most mothers carry the burden of that around as shame and guilt. Its heavy, and it feels so icky that it gets hidden from the world.

Many mothers are convinced that the 'shameful' things they do MUST be worse than what other mothers around them do... and they keep it like a secret they wish they could erase from history.

Those secrets don't away, they hang around, they eat away at your sense of self AND you end up repeating those actions that you felt so much shame around.

Making yourself wrong for hurting or losing it at your child won't actually do anything to change your behaviour... in fact, it ensures you continue repeating it.

Those things you wish you didn't do, but seem to continue to do when you're so stretched and triggered are YOUR SHADOWS.

Your shadows are ways of being that you judge as so wrong and shudder at the thought of someone looking in the window and seeing you behave that way (or you cringe in horror the possibility of your neighbours hearing you in such a state).

The thing with shadows is that they hang around and the more you push them down, the more strongly they emerge.

A great analogy is that of a large beachball. Have you ever tried to submerge a few fully inflated beachballs under the water and then keep them there while you do other things?

As soon as your attention goes away from keeping those beachballs submerged... they fly, full speed, out of the water (and the deeper down they were submerged, the further up they'll fly).

When you let your guard down, when no-one else is watching, your shadows (beachballs) will come out flying and they'll fly at your children (and anyone else really close to you).

If, instead of pushing them down, you begin acknowledging them, and (in safe spaces where you will be held in love) you share them with others...

THEY TRANSFORM (and they don't fly out of the water at full speed, because they weren't submerged in the first place).

We're sharing a FB live video about how to begin bringing your shadows out into the light and transforming them.

There is nothing wrong with you, EVERYONE has shadows and claiming them empowers you to transform them.

LOVE Lisa and Kaya
xx

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