Your Single Practice transforms your habits

Welcome back!

Here’s part 2 of our discussion on the Single Practice.

So last time we were talking about how to get out of information overwhelm, and how to support yourself to be more and more in alignment with your values - in the moment.

In other words, how you can show up as that mother you most want to be - in the heat of the moment without being overwhelmed by all the information swirling around out there and in your head.

How you can create that congruence between the mother you want to be, and the mother you end up acting as, in the heat of the moment. How to know what to do in each moment.

If we are in a place of Conscious Choice -  that mental space where we are aware enough to choose how we want to show up in the next moment (we address this in our next post) -  then what simple and accessible action can we take?

The answer is our practice.  Our practice is:

An in-the-moment thing we can do, that is aligned with our Intentions for the moment and our values as a mother.

An action that we can easily access consistently so that we can create new habits.

(This is done through the creation of new neural pathways - with small but consistently achievable action).

An action that can anchor us, align us with our higher vision for motherhood and then as a result help us to naturally access more and more of that knowledge that we have in our mama minds.

Your Single Practice flips that switch and allows you to move into the next moment with Intention and alignment and allows more inspired and aligned ideas to flow into your mind that you can bring to the next moment after that.

It sets off a mini chain of reaction and action and if that chain is one that was born and seeded in our Intentions and values then more and more of our subsequent moments can come from this place.

And if we get off track, if we lose our way in a situation, lose our cool, get overwhelmed...

We simply come back to our practice. We come back to it time and time again.

So you can create, claim and work a practice at anytime and all the time.

You will find some practices you build on over time, some you integrate and then move on to a new practice, or a practice serves its purpose and the dynamic or pattern shifts and so again, you move on.

It’s all good.

In today's post we are going to take you through our coaching process around creating and claiming a practice and then working it.

Just before we do, we want to share a few little extra nuggets.

The power is in having a single practice. Don’t try to have several practices running at a time overloading you. Just one simple practice to act as your key, you will find it will naturally open the door to different and more ways of being and acting that are in alignment with your Intentions naturally. The single practice will prevent you from being overwhelmed or feeling resistant to changing a habitual response (which is natural).

There is also a lot power in keeping one single practice going for a while (a week or two) and seeing how many ways you can bring it into the days, how many variations it takes, how it naturally evolves. You’ll start to also see how it shifts the energy between you and other people, how your children shift in response, how patterns in the family start to shift.  What gifts come out of your practice? And what are the unexpected gifts, insights and revelations that come from it? There will always be gifts.
And the beauty is a practice will continue to grow and evolve as you and your family do. You could do the same practice this week and again in several months and the unexpected gifts and ways it plays out in your family will be different.

How do you get a practice? Creating and claiming a practice
There are several ways you can go about getting a current practice but this method that we are sharing here today is a method that you can do right now with no other information needed.

Get into a place where you can reflect and sit for 3-5 minutes.

Preferably right now! - Do it as you read this.

You don’t need any preparation and you don’t need a lot of time. You can do it while you watch your children play.

Become aware of your breath and just take a couple full complete breaths with your awareness on it and your body. As you breathe in feel yourself centre, regroup and as you exhale feel yourself relax.

Now bring your awareness to your day, to what’s happened so far.  Scan your awareness over the week, the highlights and the lower moments. Just be aware of what’s there in your memory.

Does anything stand out? A pattern or a dynamic that you see happening over and over that you don’t like?

A feeling within you that feels heavy when you bring something in particular to mind?

Or perhaps its a feeling in you that feels light, like there is potential, something you want to increase.

Scan your awareness over your family members, who feels like they have the most need of you at the moment?

Who is going through something at the moment?

Who feels the most disconnected or withdrawn or depleted?

What we doing here is observing, noticing how we feel in our bodies as we recall and bring all these elements to mind. This is not about explaining, justifying, berating or blaming. This about being aware of what is and noticing how it feels in your body.

As you do this you will reach a point where your body feels more strongly about something. One of these events, dynamics or people will pull you more, will have a sense of - “this is where you need to focus for now”.

This is the direction and this is your focus area for your next practice.

So now you have an area to create a practice around. While this is the primary inspiration you will find that once you have a practice you will use it as much as you can, in as many situations as possible.

Your practice will directly support the area that you have determined as needing your attention, but additionally some of it’s greatest gifts and revelations will be unexpected as you enact it outside of that specific situation.

Ok let's continue.

Now:  Ask yourself “What is my Intention?” It could be what is my Intention for this moment, or what is my Intention in this situation, what is my Intention around this dynamic, what is my Intention with this child. These are all variations of the same question, the important thing is to be clear on your Intention.

Now ask yourself- Given this Intention, what energy would best serve here? You might say this again several ways, what energy could I embody now that would best serve me, best serve this situation, best serve my child. How should I show up now, what dominant vibe do I want to project into this situation? What energy would best serve my Intention?

Embody that energy right then and there. Bring to mind that energy and actually bring it into your body, imagine yourself breathing it in till it floods you. Visualise it, how it feels in your body, how you feel, how it feels to radiate that energy.

Now ask yourself what action/what approach/what words can I enact now that feel aligned with this Intention and energy.

Breathe deep, stay in the energy you are choosing to embody, allow it to fill you and focus on that (don’t be in the mind frantically racing to find a solution). Instead allow what wants to bubble up to come - and yes trust something will come.

Let something from your Inner Knowing (or this blog, a course or another book you have read) to bubble up but let it come because it is aligned to your Intention and your energy (which is what will naturally happen if you have done the first 3 steps).

Just one action, one step, you don’t need a whole execution plan here, just one step.

You want this action to be small enough and simple enough that you can recall it easily under stress. Look at our last post for some examples of practices.

When that one thing comes, AND it feels true and right in your body, that is the action you take. Inevitably the following interaction will allow more little inspirations to bubble up from your mama mind.

That’s it, you now have a practice.

If you feel lost or overwhelmed, confused or stuck in any dynamic take it back to the simplest essence - what is your Intention and what energy do you choose to embody right now - and enact your practice.

In fact any of those 3 can be recalled in the moment and flip your switch to consciousness.

(If what is coming up for you is a dynamic or a pattern in your family - look out for our upcoming free coaching series precisely on this... It’s called Shift your Family Shit (with Love) and it’ll be available in the next couple of weeks :-))

Claim your practice
Now you have a practice claim it!

Set the Intention to be open to the opportunities to recall it in the day. Actually set a conscious Intention to be receptive to moments of awareness when this can be the solution, the course of action. This is a powerful step.

Write it down somewhere where you can see it at the start of the day (and preferably during the day),

Writing is powerful because it allows you to be really clear on your Intention, your energy and your practice. Writing something is a form of declaring it.

Work your practice.

Look for all the ways you can practice your practice! - and watch what happens. You don’t need to force the day to fit your practice - No!

Instead just allow the day to be what it is and let your practice weave into it, your practice is just along for the ride.

Make it your art form for a whole week, see all the variations and ways (both surprising and expected) that you can enact this practice. Really soak and absorb in that one sentence.  Anytime you are unclear on which way to go in a situation enact your practice.

If you feel inspired set an alarm on your phone for a couple of times a day to help remind yourself of your practice.

When you are in conflict or when you are unsure how to proceed in a situation with another person, enact your practice.

When you are feeling impatient, distracted, grouchy. Enact your practice.

Whenever it's in your awareness for whatever reason, apply it to your current situation in whatever way you feel called to - it is about your intention first, then your practice second.

Remember you don’t drive or steer the journey with a practice. You just allow it to bubble up, to come forth through your intention, self awareness and a moment of conscious choice (which we will be exploring in our next post).

Let me give you a random example from my own day of how it might look:

So today I (Lisa) set my Intention of the day: that my children always be my top priority.
The practice that I chose to enact was that of open energy (this is another process we teach but seeing this is getting long for now, let’s just say that I open my heart and my body, my energy open in a wide, loving and engaged way when I enact my practice).

It filtered subtly into my day to start,  I was generally more patient.

This often happens when really setting an Intention, gaining clarity on what it is (like we did above) and declaring or claiming it as ours.

At one point in the day my son wanted my attention and I was really focused on something else - a conversation.

But I agreed to help him (make him the priority- remember that was my Intention) so we went outside together to go get his scooter out of the car and as we went I chose to open my energy to him (I enacted my practice).

By the way opening your energy  is how you open a door to connection - you open your energy.  This is nearly always how a connection moment starts.

Once we got his scooter out of the car I turned to go back to the conversation inside but  he stopped me, he wanted me to watch him scooter.

Again I felt the tug both ways inside and I had to make a choice.

Again I chose my Intention in that moment so I stopped, turned back and really watched. I chose to make him the priority in that moment.

…. Then he wanted me to sit on the ground in the middle of the road (it was a very tiny dead end street and we were at the end of it) so he could scooter around me in circles. Again initially I didn’t really want to!

Again I thought about my Intention and evaluated my choices (which included tuning into my needs, my edges, his needs and wants etc) and again I chose to honor my Intentions and to really put myself fully in that moment, choose that direction, and enact my practice - to consciously open my energy and put my focus on that person in front of me.  I chose to make it a moment of connection.

Throughout the whole interaction I remembered my Intention and I enacted my practice and it led me to choosing it again and again in succession. The whole interaction could have been one of frustration and irritation, of rejection and of not feeling important. Instead I felt aligned with my values, I felt good about the way I had parented and Fynn and I felt strong and connected together before we both went off to do our own things.

Later this evening again I had an interaction with Fynn where he needed me but I wasn’t sure how or even really what was going on for him.

So I remembered and set my Intention, to make him the priority in this moment.

I then just opened my energy (enacted my practice) without any more thoughts on going into this situation.

I enacted my practice, I went from desire to action, that transition - and what flowed from that was lots of other inspired ideas coming into my awareness - choices I could make.

I could hold space - and just say nothing - often this is a good place to start!

I could create connection and fill his love cup,

I could see what he needed or wanted in that moment,

or a whole myriad of other ideas.

I didn’t think of all that up front, that is often overwhelming and I didn’t really know what was going on for him anyway.

Instead I remembered an Intention, and enacted my single practice that was in alignment or congruent with that Intention.

This shifted me from desire to action.  When we do this we can open to more consciousness in the moment, and all sorts of inspired ideas often come from this (and if they don’t then that’s really  nearly always because the practice in and of itself was the answer!) <3

These are just two examples of the practice, there are endless variations on how a practice can unfold but they all have magic, they feel connecting, they feel more easy and you feel aligned with your values after the fact.

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Even if you only remember once in the day what your practice is and you act on it you’ll have created a moment of congruence between the mother you want to be and the mother you are in that moment.

That moment will be felt by you and the other person. That moment of congruence will also set in place a opening for more experiences for your practice to be enacted.

All you need is one moment and one enacting of your practice to get the ball rolling.

It sets in place within you, a place of resonance with your Intention and your practice. This will draw you to that experience again if you remain open to those moments of awareness.

Every blog post we give you a take away practice that you can bring into your life today to anchor the message of the post into your experience of Motherhood.

Our invitation to you this week is work your practice! If you didn’t actually create a practice as you read this through, go back and spend a couple minutes doing it now.

To start working your practice share below what your practice is!

Much love,